If you’d told me ten years ago that I’d have a will by the age of 40, I probably would have laughed. Back then, I thought wills were for the ultra-wealthy or for people who had something major to leave behind—mansions, businesses, maybe a priceless family heirloom. As a paralegal working long hours and raising two teenagers, I didn’t think I fit the mold. I had a modest house, a reliable car, and a lot of love to give, but nothing that screamed “estate planning.”
That all changed one fateful afternoon, during a routine consultation with a client. It was a simple case—a widow who needed help navigating the legal paperwork after her husband’s passing. What should have been a straightforward process turned into a legal nightmare. He hadn’t left a will, and despite their decades of marriage, his assets were tangled in a mess of disputes. Watching her struggle sparked something in me: the realization that the absence of a will doesn’t just complicate things; it can shatter lives.
That day was a turning point, not just professionally but personally. It made me look at my life and the lives of the people I loved. It made me think about what would happen if the unexpected occurred. And so, I made my will at 40—not because I was rich or because I had all the answers, but because I knew what could happen if I didn’t.
This is the story of why I did it, what I learned along the way, and the tips I give to anyone who’s hesitant to take this step. Whether you think you need a will or not, trust me—you do.
The Wake-Up Call: A Case That Changed Everything
The widow’s name was Maria. She was in her late fifties, soft-spoken, and visibly overwhelmed as she explained her situation. Her husband, Roberto, had passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack. They’d been married for 30 years, and in all that time, they’d never once thought about writing a will.
“It just never seemed important,” Maria told me. “We always assumed everything would go to me if something happened to him.”
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. Roberto’s estate, though modest, included a small rental property and a savings account he’d opened before their marriage. Without a will, the rental property was subject to probate, a legal process that determines how assets are distributed when someone dies without a clear plan. To make matters worse, Roberto’s estranged brother filed a claim, arguing that he was entitled to a share of the property.
Maria was devastated. Not only was she grieving her husband, but now she was facing legal battles that could drag on for months—or even years. I worked closely with her attorney to navigate the process, but I couldn’t shake the thought that so much of her pain could have been avoided if there had been a will.
Reflecting on My Own Life
Maria’s story stayed with me long after the case was resolved. It made me think about my own family—my two kids, Sofia and Diego, my aging parents, and even my friends. What would happen to them if something unexpected happened to me? Would they be left with clarity or confusion?
I started imagining scenarios: Who would take care of Sofia and Diego if I wasn’t there? Would they know my wishes for them? What about my modest savings and my house—would it go to them seamlessly, or would it get caught in legal limbo? The more I thought about it, the clearer it became that leaving things to chance wasn’t an option.
Taking the First Step: Why People Avoid Writing a Will
When I finally decided to write my will, I realized just how much fear and avoidance surround this process. Here are some of the common excuses I’ve heard—and even told myself:
- “I don’t have enough to leave behind.” Many people believe that wills are only for the wealthy. But the truth is, even small assets—like a car, a savings account, or personal belongings—can cause disputes if there’s no clear plan.
- “I’m too young to think about this.” This is a dangerous myth. The reality is that life is unpredictable, and accidents or illnesses can happen to anyone, regardless of age.
- “It’s too complicated or expensive.” While estate planning can feel overwhelming, there are affordable and accessible ways to create a will, from DIY templates to consultations with a legal professional.
- “It’s uncomfortable to think about death.” This was the hardest hurdle for me. As someone who’s seen the legal side of death countless times, I knew the importance of planning. But when it came to my own mortality, I was just as uncomfortable as anyone else.
The Process: How I Wrote My Will
Writing my will was simpler than I expected, but it required careful thought and planning. Here’s how I approached it:
1. Listing My Assets
I started by making a list of everything I owned—my house, my car, my bank accounts, and even sentimental items like family jewelry. This helped me see the full picture of what I’d be leaving behind.
2. Choosing Beneficiaries
The next step was deciding who would inherit my assets. For me, this was easy—my kids were my priority. But for others, this can be more complicated, especially if there are blended families, estranged relatives, or charitable intentions involved.
3. Appointing a Guardian
This was the most emotional part of the process. I had to think about who would take care of Sofia and Diego if I wasn’t there. I chose my sister, who shares my values and has a close relationship with my kids. Discussing this with her was difficult but essential.
4. Naming an Executor
The executor is the person responsible for carrying out the will’s instructions. I chose a trusted friend who’s organized, reliable, and knows my family well.
5. Consulting a Professional
Even as a paralegal, I knew the value of consulting an attorney for this process. They helped me ensure that my will was legally sound and addressed all possible scenarios.
The Lessons I Learned
Writing my will taught me a lot about life, death, and the importance of preparation. Here are some of the biggest lessons:
- It’s Never Too Early.
Waiting for the “right time” to write a will is risky. Starting early gives you peace of mind and allows you to update it as your life changes. - Clarity Is Kindness.
A will isn’t just about dividing assets—it’s about providing clarity and reducing conflict for your loved ones. - Your Wishes Matter.
Writing a will ensures that your values and priorities are respected, from how your assets are distributed to who takes care of your children.
Tips for Creating Your Own Will
If you’re ready to take the first step, here are some practical tips:
- Start with a List: Write down your assets, debts, and beneficiaries to get a clear picture of your estate.
- Talk to Your Loved Ones: Discuss your wishes with the people involved to avoid surprises later.
- Consult a Professional: While DIY wills can work for some, a lawyer can help you navigate complex situations.
- Keep It Updated: Life changes—so should your will. Review it regularly, especially after major life events like marriage, divorce, or the birth of a child.
Why It Was Worth It
Writing my will wasn’t just a legal task—it was an act of love. It gave me peace of mind knowing that Sofia and Diego would be taken care of, that my parents wouldn’t be burdened with difficult decisions, and that my legacy would reflect my values.
If you’ve been putting off writing your will, I encourage you to start today. It’s not about expecting the worst—it’s about being prepared for whatever life brings. Your loved ones will thank you, and you’ll thank yourself.
