For years, my relationship with food was anything but healthy. I’d swing between extremes—strict dieting one month, bingeing on my favorite comfort foods the next. Each time I started a new diet, I promised myself it would be different, but inevitably, I’d hit a wall and fall back into old habits. The cycle of restriction and overindulgence left me feeling frustrated, defeated, and further away from the health and balance I was striving for.
It wasn’t until I looked beyond the diets and started focusing on my relationship with food that things truly began to change. This journey wasn’t about quick fixes or chasing the “perfect” body. It was about learning to listen to my body, finding balance, and discovering joy in eating again.
Here’s how I rebuilt my relationship with food after years of yo-yo dieting and how you can too.
The Cycle of Yo-Yo Dieting: Why It’s So Hard to Break
Like many people, my struggles with food started with good intentions. I wanted to lose weight, feel healthier, and have more energy. But most of the diets I tried were restrictive and unsustainable. Whether it was cutting out entire food groups, counting every calorie, or sticking to rigid meal plans, I found myself constantly thinking about food—what I could eat, what I couldn’t eat, and how guilty I felt when I “cheated.”
These patterns weren’t just physically exhausting—they were emotionally draining. Every time I regained the weight I’d lost, I felt like I had failed. It wasn’t until I started researching the science behind dieting that I realized the problem wasn’t me—it was the diets themselves. They weren’t designed for long-term success, and they didn’t address the deeper issues driving my eating habits.
The Turning Point: Redefining Success
My turning point came during a conversation with my boys, Ethan and Jake. One evening, Jake asked why I wasn’t eating the pizza we’d ordered for dinner. “Is pizza bad?” he asked. His question stopped me in my tracks. I realized that my dieting habits were sending a message to my kids—a message I didn’t want them to internalize. Food wasn’t “good” or “bad.” It was fuel, celebration, and connection, and I wanted them to see it that way.
That night, I made a decision: instead of focusing on dieting, I’d focus on building a healthier relationship with food—not just for me, but for my family.
Step One: Letting Go of the Diet Mentality
The first step in rebuilding my relationship with food was letting go of the diet mentality. This meant rejecting the idea that certain foods were off-limits or that I needed to earn my meals through exercise. Instead of labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” I started thinking about how they made me feel.
This shift wasn’t easy. Years of dieting had ingrained a sense of guilt around certain foods, and it took time to unlearn those habits. But as I gave myself permission to enjoy all types of food, I noticed a surprising change: I no longer felt the urge to binge. By removing the restriction, I also removed the fear of scarcity that had driven my overeating.
Step Two: Listening to My Body
One of the most transformative parts of this journey was learning to listen to my body’s cues. For years, I had relied on external rules to dictate when and what I ate. But our bodies are incredibly intuitive, and I realized that mine had been sending me signals all along—I just hadn’t been paying attention.
I started practicing mindful eating, paying close attention to hunger and fullness cues. Before each meal, I’d ask myself, “Am I truly hungry?” During the meal, I’d slow down, savoring each bite and noticing when I felt satisfied. This simple practice helped me reconnect with my body and develop a sense of trust in its ability to guide me.
Step Three: Finding Joy in Food
One of the most liberating parts of this journey was rediscovering the joy of food. For so long, I had seen eating as a chore or a source of stress. But food is so much more than fuel—it’s culture, tradition, and pleasure.
I started experimenting in the kitchen, trying new recipes and flavors that excited me. The boys loved being part of the process, helping me create dishes like homemade sushi rolls or colorful veggie stir-fries. Mealtime became an opportunity for connection and creativity, not just a box to check off.
I also made it a point to celebrate food-related moments, like sharing dessert on special occasions or enjoying a leisurely breakfast on the weekends. These experiences reminded me that food is meant to be enjoyed, not feared.
Step Four: Prioritizing Nourishment Over Restriction
Instead of focusing on what I couldn’t eat, I started focusing on what I could add to my meals to make them more nourishing. This mindset shift helped me create balanced plates that included a mix of protein, healthy fats, whole grains, and plenty of colorful veggies.
One of my favorite habits became “crowding out” less nutritious choices by filling my meals with satisfying, nutrient-dense foods. For example, if I craved something sweet, I’d start with a bowl of fresh fruit before deciding if I still wanted the chocolate. Often, I found that the fruit satisfied my craving without feeling like a compromise.
The Challenges: Breaking Old Patterns
Rebuilding my relationship with food wasn’t without its challenges. There were times when old habits crept back in—like reaching for snacks out of boredom or eating past fullness because the food tasted so good. But instead of beating myself up, I used these moments as opportunities to reflect and learn.
I also had to navigate social pressures, like well-meaning friends or family members who commented on my choices. Staying confident in my new approach meant reminding myself that this journey was about my health and happiness, not anyone else’s expectations.
The Results: Freedom and Balance
A year into this journey, the results have been life-changing. I feel more energized, less stressed, and more in tune with my body. I no longer see food as an enemy or a source of guilt—it’s a source of nourishment, connection, and joy.
But perhaps the most rewarding change has been in my relationship with Ethan and Jake. By modeling a balanced approach to eating, I’ve helped them develop their own healthy habits. They see me enjoying a wide variety of foods, savoring indulgent treats in moderation, and prioritizing how food makes me feel over how it makes me look.
You Can Rebuild Your Relationship With Food Too
If you’re stuck in the cycle of yo-yo dieting, know that there’s a way out. Start by letting go of restrictive rules and focusing on what truly nourishes your body and mind. Practice mindful eating, listen to your body’s cues, and embrace the joy and connection that food can bring.
Rebuilding your relationship with food is a journey, not a destination. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and remember that balance is the key to lasting health and happiness.
